A Good Place

This is my good place.

For about six months now, I have been struggling with a new notion: that I can decide how I want for my life to be -that I can literally design the life that I want. Now I have been hearing and reading variations of this my entire life and I always assumed that I believed that this was something that people can actually accomplish. But it came to me six months ago in a way that I knew for sure that it was informing me specifically. That was intense. Not least of which because it caused me to realize, for the first time, that I had a deeply seeded belief that, while changing one's circumstances may be an inherent ability of everyone else, it was not a privilege that I could access. And I have been resistant to taking the steps that will allow me to create the life that I want. I have been waging an internal war within myself, even though I know that transforming life change will ensue, eventually, I have struggled with this revelation.

I sit
within myself
observing my
inner workings

I see
myself battling
for control of
my development

I watch
in fascination
knowing that I
will emerge victorious

I cringe
at the goblin
fighting to keep
my soul locked away

I marvel
at the birthing
of the new creature
that is winning the battle

I wonder
what once in
the world she
will choose to do next.

kathryn harriet © 3.3.11